Just for you~

(/Note: Sorry to bore u readers with my emotional post these few days but this blog i have is the only available platform for me to say something i dare without facing her. If u know me, u know i love her. this is a post for her. So pls, spare me a moment of private time i can give with her here.)

I wonder if u might be reading this.
but i have to take a chance.


This Picture of Mickey and Minnie might no longer mean much.
but deep down inside
the feeling of giving u support
like the Mickey and Minnie is so real.

Time did not allow us a chance to be together.
Fate did not allow us a chance to try.
Destiny wanted to bring us together and tear us apart.

But

If u know me well
U know I'm a Challenger.
A decider of my own fate.
A fighter till the clock fails me.


Being the reckless fighter i am
I'm sad to have admit that I've made mistakes in my life.

I've regretted not listening to my closest friends.
I've regretted not giving myself the chance to learn to trust.
I've regretted not being able to act like a 18 year old.
I've regretted not being able to show u the love inside me.
I've regretted all that has happen.
And that includes
Letting u go.

Endless months i told myself u will be happy.
Endless months i told myself I'll get over.
Endless months i told myself u have found love.
Endless months i told myself it's time to move on.

But

I realise that u might not be so happy.
I realise that i cant get over.
I realise that u may not have found true love.
I realise that i cant move on.

Now i know
What its like to be in love.
What its like to be in True love

The Warmth i feel when u were around me.
The Confidence i feel when u smiled at me.
The Security i feel when we hugged each other tight.
The Joy i feel when we walked hand in hand.
The Peace i feel when u lie in my arms.
Are all way back into the past.

Never in life did i have such feelings for anyone.
Never in life had i cried so much for anyone.
Never in life had i fret so much for anyone.
Never in life had i cared so much for anyone.
And by anyone, my family does not match up to u.

Maybe this is the effect of true love.
The Effect that make me place u as the most important
at that point in my life.
And still at this point of my life.

I know I may be foolish.
I may be dumb.
But before i'm out,
I wanna give it all out.

So here my girl, this is for u.
The tears u shed
eases the pain.
For the pain in my heart,
is fading away.

The hopes that we had,
were not just the past.
For the hopes that we had,
is still in my heart.

The feelings inside,
has always been deep.
But since u've been gone,
it's deeper den deep.

Here i am,
still fearing inside.
Hoping one day,
U'll just come inside.

Touching my heart,
loving me still.
For its me to u.
I really love you.

I know what i said yesterday was tough.
But i just did not want anything bad to happen to you.
Hope u do know why i wanted to do that.

I'm really trying my best to make sure i dun make another mistake.
I trying my best, to do all i can.
To touch u again, to let u noe that i care.
To just have a chance to be part of ur life again.

And hereby i swear by the name of Tan Jian An,
that all i mentioned above are nothing but the truth.
If any of those turns out false.
Den may i suffer a horrible death


I was loving you then.
And is loving you now.
Can i walk this path with u
together again....